The best dancers are supposed to be able to lead anyone, regardless of the follower’s level.  Really?  We have always questioned this “fact”.  How is this possibly true?  If a woman does not know how to embrace the man, if she doesn’t understand what the lead feels like (in general), if she is lacking necessary technique, then what?  We’re not saying we haven’t seen all these “great teachers” lead women exactly where they wanted them to go.  We are saying that these “great teachers” are often totally cheating in doing so.

Jorge is not one of these “great teachers” and cannot, for the life of him, make his followers do what he would like.  Apparently Jorge is not a very good leader then.  He must have been lied to over and over again in Buenos Aires because he was consistently told how clear his lead was and how he lead with his full body (by teachers and dancers).  The main criticism/feedback was to “increase the font size”.  That is, his lead was clear and good, but he could make it even clearer, even better, even bigger for those women who weren’t very sensitive followers.

Why can’t Jorge make the follower do what he wants?  The answer lies in the question: the word “make”.  It is not in his nature, his personality, or his dance to “make” a follower do anything.  If he feels that his follower cannot follow a certain movement, he simply will not do it again.

Entonces, what is meant by “cheating” in the lead?  Leaders can cheat in one of two ways: with the killer left arm or with the killer right arm.  Let us describe what we mean.

The killer left arm is popular among some in our Tango community.  It is actually taught as the proper way to lead in Tango and in all honesty, if the follower offers enough resistance with her right arm, the leader can basically lead the follower to do anything.  Does it feel nice for the follower?  Well that depends.  If you are a follower with an ego who just wants to be perfect at any cost, the answer is yes.  However, if you are a follower in love with the dance and the embrace, the answer is no.  And well, the answer is a definite no when the man uses his left arm so much that you are left with a sore shoulder after the dance (there are a few of these leaders in TO and many followers complain about it and don’t enjoy dancing with these men, but saying no is just too difficult).

The killer right arm, conversely, occurs when the leader crushes his follower.  In this situation, we are not speaking of the awful right HAND lead.  You know what we’re talking about ladies.  That evil hand you feel on your back pushing and pulling you through ochos.  Shudder!  No.  We are speaking of the men who cannot trust their followers (often with good reason) to embrace or follow the lead.  Therefore, these men crush the living daylight out of their followers so there isn’t a chance a step will be missed.

A good leader invites his follower to move with him and a great leader finds a way to invite the follower with little choice of rejection.  The use of arms and excessive muscle cancels out the chance for an invitation.  All we saw and felt of the good dancers in Buenos Aires were comfortable cloud-like (close) embraces that used the body (with arms being an extension of the body) to invite the woman to  follow.

Here’s the analogy: Tango is often compared to a language.  Therefore, if a woman visits Argentina with no knowledge of Spanish, can a man really make her understand what he wants her to do?  He can of course use body language, but if some of the body language is different between the cultures, this will be of little help.  Perhaps he’s asking her to join him for “mate” and holds an imaginary cup to his face with one hand while holding and imaginary straw to his lips with the other hand.  This could easily be misunderstood or not understood at all.  He could use “force” and drag her to his place and show her the mate gourd and straw, but is this really an enjoyable experience?  In other words, it does not matter how great his body language is.  If she does not have some basic knowledge of the language, he will either have to force her to understand or they will both look a little silly not being able to communicate with one another.

For us, the moral of the story is that women need to be taking “Spanish” classes before attempting to communicate with advanced speakers. Men who do not want to use force, have every right to speak only with women they feel comfortable communicating with.  When they both decide to show up at a “Spanish” practica, then they can attempt to communicate together because it is a place of practice.

To further add to the analogy and as a side thought… After one spends time learning, practicing and speaking a foreign language in a foreign country, it is usually the case that the foreign language will deteriorate when one returns to the home country.  When no one else is speaking that foreign language, it is quite difficult to maintain the level previously achieved unless one continues to communicate with others of the same or better language abilities.  So why is it so difficult for people to understand why we, for example, do not want to dance with people who do not dance with good technique and a proper embrace?

After spending 8 months in Buenos Aires and experiencing the intelligently invented “cabeceo“, returning to Toronto’s way of requesting dances was quite difficult… to say the least.  One lovely milonga here in TO is encouraging it’s attendees to use the “cabeceo”.  We’re keeping our fingers crossed that our community will “accept this dance” and be transformed.

Without the “cabeceo”, the somewhat accepted norm is that men ask women to dance.  Not surprisingly, as a feminist, K never hesitated to ask men to dance.  We are not in the 1950’s (or whatever time period you want to choose)!  These are modern times and IF a community does not want to fully incorporate all the codes and traditions of Argentine Tango, then we do believe that both men and women should be asking for dances.  That said, women and men must both learn how to say “no” AND how to be ready for and accept rejection.

We both have difficulties saying no.  The ability to say “no” truly says a lot about one’s personality.  K needs to mentally prepare herself to do so.  After surveying the dance floor and its dancers, and making personal I-will-NOT-dance-with-him notes in her head, she is more prepared to say no if any of those men approach her.  K is the list-maker… the organizer.

Meanwhile Jorge keeps repeating to himself and to K that he will NOT dance with such-and-such a dancer, but when that dancer comes and asks him, “yes” is out of his mouth with barely a hesitation.  Jorge is a people-pleaser (something he hates about himself) and has difficulties dealing with conflict.

What an absolutely ridiculous situation to deal with when the “cabeceo” exists.  However there have been comments in our community that the “cabeceo” is archaic.  Sorry… what?!  Archaic is the idea that women are supposed to sit in a milonga looking pretty while they wait for a man to come and ask them to dance!  That or they can stalk men, corner them, and practically force them into a dance (unfortunately, that tends to be the extreme that women who do the asking choose).

The point is, IF individuals or communities do not want to use the “cabeceo”, then women and men should be able to ask one another for dances.  If you find it difficult to ask, then let that person know that you would be interested in a dance with them and walk away.  But never, NEVER stalk your potential dance partner.  Both of us have been the victim of this.  K’s stalker sat only a few seats away and attempted to “cabeceo” her.  Instead of understanding that she did not want to dance with him when she ignored him, the stalker continued to sit and stare through 2 tandas and only stopped for the third tanda when she got up to dance with Jorge.  However, upon her return, stalker decided that since the “cabeceo” didn’t work, he would just go straight up to K and ask for a dance!?  K politely declined, but could not believe the audacity of this person.

Jorge dealt with a similar situation when a female dancer, rather than coming directly up to him to ask for a dance, sat down a couple chairs away (twice) to “cabeceo” him.  Obviously there is a huge misunderstanding of how the “cabeceo” is used if the situation is still causing discomfort and awkwardness for one or both parties.

This may be Toronto, but we are dancing ARGENTINE Tango.  There is enough difficulty in our Tango community embracing our partners (another post for another time).  The least we could do is embrace the culture of Tango.

If it doesn’t look like Stage Tango, it better be full of “funky” moves and other gimmicks.  And if Tango is to maintain popularity, be accepted, and enjoyed, it definitely cannot be “boring” (i.e., include a lot of walking and basic – although not necessarily simple – steps).

We’ve read many blogs that praise this couple.  We’ve read how they are so “creative”, “fun”,  and “unique”.   Why can’t Tango be accepted the way it is – as a dance of the people and as a culture expressed in the context of a social dance?

Forever Tango is currently in Toronto and this has many Tango-enthusiasts very excited.  Some of the dancers, for reasons we cannot really remember, are “stuck” in Toronto and offering classes and private lessons.  This means Forever Tango dancers are gracing our milongas with their presence.  They have been fun to watch and are very talented dancers.  However, the fact that our Tango community has been getting more excited about these STAGE tango dancers than previously or upcoming invited social Tango dancers/teachers and milongueros is such a shame.  The only reason to take classes with these dancers is to further one’s own Stage Tango abilities.  Perhaps it is true that there are many wannabe Stage Tango dancers in Toronto, but these individuals are taking to the milonga floor and not to the stage.

(We decided this post needed editing and re-posting… here it is:)

We’re back in Toronto after spending a year in South America – 8 months of which were spent in Buenos Aires.  There’s so much to write about still… our observations and experiences of Tango in Buenos Aires, how it feels to be back “home”, and everything in between.  Let’s see when we get around to it.

While away, we were happy to hear that floorcraft and navigation skills had become issues that teachers and milonga organizers were more frequently addressing in our Toronto community.  The reason for this?  The Tango floor is a sad site in Toronto.  We did not fully realize this  until we experienced the milongas of Buenos Aires and saw for ourselves what it’s supposed to look like.   Generally, Toronto dancers move anti-clockwise in a somewhat homogenous group… at best.  There rarely exists and inside and outside track, and dancers are constantly passing each other in a zigzagging fashion.  Teachers are rarely teaching their students floorcraft skills and etiquette, and IF they are, the milongas do not reflect this.  In addition, learners/dancers actually fight against dancing with proper floorcraft skills.  No one wants to wait behind the “slow” dancer… no one knows how.

Before leaving for Buenos Aires, we did our research and knew the rules of the milongas.  We understood the seriousness of it.  Dancing in milongas where people respect your space and understand the movement of Tango was fantastic.  Dancers stayed in their own lanes, they didn’t try to pass one another (although there were exceptions – the infamous Tete being one of them), their feet stayed on the ground when there was little space, and couples were hearing and moving to the music in a similar way.

One of the biggest “lies” we heard about floorcraft was the no-steps-backwards rule (or the no-steps-against-the-line-of-dance rule).  We’ve observed this rule to be incorrect… or rather, inaccurate.  HOWEVER, there are two conditions that apply:

1) You cannot take more than one step backwards.

OR

2) You can only take more than one step against the line of dance if you can see the space and people in that direction.

One important fact we never heard about was the existence of the “buffer”.  This is the space that encircles a couple and always exists if you are dancing around good dancers.  This buffer allows dancers to move one step in EVERY direction (at a minimum).  Many tourists are not aware of this buffer and are usually the ones crowding the couple ahead of them.  They are also the ones getting mad at other tourists (or even locals) for going against the line of dance.

There is a mistaken belief that you are responsible for ALL the dancers around you on the dance floor.  However, our experience in Buenos Aires has taught us that you are only truly responsible for the couple in front of you.  When you are following all the other rules involved, the floor will take care of itself if you take care of the couple in front of you.

Take downhill skiing as an example.  If you are skiing straight in one track, you do not worry about the people skiing behind you.  You pay attention to the skiers (and the hill) in front of you.  The people behind you will keep their eyes on you.

Without all these “strict” rules and codes, leaders would be left in a man-eat-man world defending  his territory.  If you have to worry about every person around you on top of listening to the music, feeling your partner, AND dancing, you have a stressful situation on your hands.  All of this makes us realize there really is no acceptable reason why our Tango teachers and milonga organizers have not fixed this problem… (Hmmmm… We foresee a future project to undertake!)  It has not been fun having to relearn how to dance in the crowds of the Toronto milongas.  Believe it or not, it actually takes a special type of skill to dance in TO!

We keep forgetting there is an unwritten rule regarding owning a blog and having closed comments.  That is, it is not allowed.  You will be shunned by your blog community and you will be considered less than human.  If your blog does not allow for disagreements and attacks, yours is a lost cause.  However, if you open up your comments and never comment on your comments (like Deby at TangoSpam), people will rarely leave comments at all, but then it is acceptable.

This little rant comes after attempting to post a comment on Arlene’s London Tango Pages.  Someone had written Arlene to ask about Javier Rodriguez.  After reading the 23 comments that followed, we felt we had a comment worth contributing.  However, since we censor our blog (other people’s words, not ours), it seems that Arlene chose to censor our comment.  We forgot that we live in an eye-for-an-eye world.

Regardless, we do feel that our comment was worth sharing and might have been useful to the individual with the question.  This is what we wrote:

Firstly, a little late on reading and commenting on this post… Secondly, we apologize for leaving a comment when we do not allow comments on our blog. We usually do not comment on others’ blogs since we do not provide the same “courtesy” to our readers. However, we just couldn’t pass this up :)

Let us begin with a quote a dear (tango) friend of ours made about Tango and Javier: “Not knowing who Geraldine and Javier are would be the same as saying you love ballet and you don’t know who Baryshnikov is.”

We are constantly amazed when people who love Tango have no idea who this couple are (were) and this is a thought we have had even before we came to Buenos Aires and before we finally decided to try a private lesson with Javier. We booked a private with him long after arriving in Buenos Aires and only after seeing him perform in Sunderland (a milonga here in Buenos Aires). It was there that we saw just how incredible and respected he is. After his performance with Stella Misse, the locals (including many milongueros) were on their feet and the sound of applause all but raised the roof!

Javier does not teach choreography unless it’s specifically what you are looking for. He dances an improvised Tango and his performances are improvised (unless it’s an OBVIOUS choreography). Whether he dances big or small is completely dependent on the space he has. There hasn’t been a dancer/teacher here who has said you should dance small all the time. In fact, we’ve been told the complete opposite: When you have the space, use it!

Javier’s lessons have completely opened our eyes to what Tango is here in Buenos Aires. He has helped us to understand how porteños view and feel about Tango … how to dance with male and female energies… etc, etc… We can completely vouch for Tango Pilgrim and Tina Tango’s comments. Javier can blow your mind and change your life with regards to tango. And he can do it in just one lesson.

Depending what level your Tango is at, relying only on a local teacher can be the worst thing you do unless you have watched videos of the milongueros and Javier (for an example of a younger Tango dancer) and feel like your local teacher is offering a very similar Tango. In our community, the majority of the teachers are teaching a Tango that is not found here in Buenos Aires.

We cannot recommend Javier enough to you, Yabotil. He is an incredible dancer and an incredible teacher. However, one must always be aware that not every teacher is for every student. If you didn’t catch him this time around, maybe next time. Good luck!

Perhaps if we hadn’t apologized then our comment would have been posted ;)  We also could have easily commented under a pseudonym, but we wanted to be honest!?  Oh well… We keep saying we’ll open up the comments on our blog one day.  We’ll finally give in to the peer pressure and be accepted by the popular crowd!

“If people only want to read your blog if they can post their comments then they aren’t really interested in what you have to say but rather telling other people what THEY think.”

- Dear Tango Friend

Finnish Tango is yet another misconception of Tango that we feel the need to clear up.  Jorge is Finnish and lived in Finland until he was 22 years old.  At which point he moved with K to Canada in 2005.  K lived in Finland for just under five years working as a kindergarten teacher.  While we lived there together, we enjoyed going out to dance socially to live music in the dance halls (inside and outside).  At these places, many dances were danced including Fox Trot, Quickstep, Slow and Viennese Waltz, Jive, Rumba, Cha Cha, Humpa, Jenkka, Polka, Samba, and FINNISH TANGO.

Being from, and having lived in, Finland causes many people to ask us about the large tango scene that exists in this tiny country.  Many people who dance Argentine Tango mistakenly believe that Finns are dancing some form of Argentine Tango.  This is somewhat understandable given that Wikipedia says, “Finnish tango is an established variation of the Argentine tango…”  How misleading!  Yes, there is a very large tango scene in Finland, but Finnish Tango is just that:  Finnish Tango.  It is not Argentine Tango and does not resemble Argentine Tango in any way.  In fact, it mostly resembles ballroom tango, as does the music.  At a minimum, the majority of the population can dance Viennese Waltz  (they learn to do so in school) and in general they can all dance tango as well.  At it’s most basic form, Finnish Tango involves moving to the music and not much more.

When Argentine Tango is danced in Finland, it is completely separate of Finnish Tango.  Not unlike many other Argentine Tango communities outside of Buenos Aires, Finland has a small A.T. community that dances to Argentine Tango music.  If someone wants to learn A.T., they go to classes specifically for A.T.

For a taste of the (rather depressing) sounds of typical Finnish tango music, take a listen to Mikko Kilkkinen, the Tango King winner of the 2002 Seinäjoki Tango Festival:

As further proof that Finnish tango, the dance, has more in common with ballroom tango, we can let you in on another dirty secret of ours.  We were actually in one of Mikko’s music videos with another young ballroom couple.  The four of us danced our ballroom tango choreography to his song.

Finally, you can watch this video of a couple dancing Finnish Tango:

This is a much more elaborate version of the dance and you will rarely see the general public dance it this way.  Therefore it should be pointed out that this couple used to dance International Competitive Ballroom and probably still teach it.  In fact, they used to teach Jorge when he was a child!